Watch out London, here comes Mr. Duffington!

"Woke up this morning...blues sitting on my face."
- Creepy song

I was tapped awake by my sister, Des. She wanted to tell me that the cleaners may be coming sometime within the next few hours. Uhm...ok. Could you maybe wake me up within the next few hours instead?

In any event I was officially awake. So I ate some cereal. No, not Multigrain Hoops...Crunchy Nut, if you must know.

You musn't, right? Didn't think so.

Anyway, we went down to the "tube station" to get me a unlimited one-month transport pass, inexplicably named "The Oyster." At the counter, I told the bloke (man) behind the counter, "I'd like an Oyster pass for this month, please."

He stared at me blankly.

Des then said to him, "he needs a monthly oyster pass."

"Ok, it'll take just a moment," he replied immediately.

Isn't that what I said?

I used my new pass to take the tube to downtown London. All around I'd been seeing people wearing plastic red poppy lapels. Des informed me that it's sort of like Memorial Day in London, but instead of a day it's a week, and instead of getting a day off you have to go out and buy a small plastic lapel. There was one on the floor of my tubecar. I debated picking it up and putting it on while an old lady saw it lying in her path and angrily kicked it in my direction. I guess it was meant to be mine. It sat in my jacket button hole all day.

I'd like to thank that angry, unpatriotic old woman. In fact, I'd like to thank all the angry, unpatriotic old women. You know you my girlz!

Des and I got off the tube and transferred to a cool double-decker bus. We sat on the top deck and I cringed every time we hit a red light because the driver would stop the car what seemed like only inches behind the motorcyclist in front of us.

We got off the bus and went to Westminster Abbey, Parliament, and Big Ben. They were all classic and great.

We then went to Buckingham Palace. It was actually surprisingly lame compared to the other sights of the day. It looked like a bank. We did see a punky young brit who looked a bit like Prince Harry running around out front. "Harry, what in blazes are you doin' out here?...Right, back in the palace then. Off you go, lad!"

Joking in that voice caused me to create a new character: Mr. Duffington (as in, " 'Ello there, it's your ol' pal Duffington!"). He's a proud citizen of some rural English town, visiting the big city for the first time. Here's a picture of him:

"Police have advised Londoners to be on the look out for this man. He sometimes answers to the nickname 'Duffy,' and is extremely excited about the most mundane parts of city life."

Then we went back to the flat. Then I wrote this blog. Then I was done. Then I kept writing even though it was clearly past the time to stop.

End of part 2. Insert VHS tape 2 to continue (but make sure it's rewound all the way!)